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pizza guy


1. Ask if you can get a pizza with just crust.

2. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal

3. End the call with, "And remember, we never had this conversation."

4. Answer their questions with questions.

5. Sing the order to the tune from any Metllica CD.

6. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

7. Fit these words in the order: DONKEY, UKRANIAN, DUNCE, MULLET, PRUNE JUICE.

8. Tell the order taker you are depressed and try to get him to cheer you up.

9. Order exotic cuisines as toppings.

10. Try to rent a pizza.

11. Stutter alot.

12. Ask if you can keep the pizza box. When they say yes, give a loud sigh of relief.

13. Tell the order taker facts about country music.

14. Ask to see a menu.

15. Quote Gandhi.

16. Order two toppings, and then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

17. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

18. Ask about pizza repair and maintenance.

19. Be vague about your order. 



These might get you detention.

1. Organize a bunch of people to fall off their chairs at the same time.

2. Write fake love notes and slip them into people's lockers.

3. If someone next to you falls asleep during class, tie their shoelaces to the desk.

4. Take notes in purple crayon.

5. Scream gibberish in crowded hallways.

6. When typing a paper, have every word be a different font and different size.

7. Cite issues of Spiderman as recourses for your bibliography.

8. Make obscure connections between unrelated things. (ex. The Roman Empire collapsed because of a shortage of botanists.)

9. If assigned a paper in philosophy class, explain you can't do the paper because you're not really sure if the class really exists, or if it and the professor are really just illusions created by your subconscious. If you do end up writing the paper, explain on whether or not the paper actually exists.

10. On the day a paper is due, skip into class happily cheering, "I got my paper! I got my paper!" Then "accidentally" throw it out the window. Run outside to get it. Repeat.

11. Perfume your homework with catnip and explain it's so your dog doesn't eat it. 

12. Poke several holes in your homework and explain it's because you were mobbed by crows on the way to school.

13. Refuse to do homework on account of the fact you are a member of GreenPeace and strongly object to the gratuitous slaughter of trees caused by the massive amount of paper in writing the assingments.

14. Support your thesis with quotes from a VCR manual.

15. Tell the teacher you need an extension on the assignment because one of your sources is an old wise man from Tibet and won't see you until the next full moon.

16. Turn in a letter you wrote to your cousin. When the teacher tells you about it, say that you must have gotten the letter and the assignment mixed up. Say you'll turn in the paper when you get it back. But your cousin lives in Siberia so it might take a while.

17. Turn in homework by turning it into a paper airplane and flying it to the teacher's desk.

18. When writing a really long paper, put a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle of it and see if your teacher notices.

19. Write a paper discussing why Michelangelo got to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle but Van Gogh didn't Explain whether Van Gogh would have gotten katanas or nunchucks.

20. Write your psychology paper on possible genetic anomalies that might cause a person to prefer anchovies.

21. When the teacher turns around, play charades with your friend on the other side of the room.

22. If you don't know the word in the spelling bee and know you are going to lose, ask a ton of questions like the origin language, what it means, and how it is said in other languages. Then spell hippo.

23. Turn in homework written in Spanish.

24. Answer the teachers questions with orange.

25. Instead of raising your hand, shout out the answer.

26. Instead of raising your hand, use a Jeopardy buzzer.

27. Read everything out loud in a British accent.

28. Switch seats every 3 minutes.

30. Make animal noises and deny doing it.

31. Speak and write only in Pig Latin. Claim it is your native language.

32. Spend the lesson trying to lick your elbow.

33. Insist to the substitute teacher that your name is Fred Fredburger.

34. Use the bathroom walls as a messageboard.

35. If there is a fire drill, refuse to leave claiming that if you were in any real danger, Spiderman would have saved you by now.

36. Randomly stand up and hand lollipops to everyone.

37. Ask random unrelated questions like in History say, "How come Santa never visits anymore?"

38. Talk about your sink.

39. If the room is really quiet, say loudly, "Quit being so loud it's distracting me!"

40. When taking a test, insist that the person on the other side of the room is cheating off you.

41. Hide at the beginning of class. When the teacher does roll call, jump out and say, "I fooled you, I was here all along!"

42. Randomly raise your hand and say, "The answer is 3," no matter what it is.

43. Ask how much the teacher weighs.

44. When asked a question, ask if you can buy a vowel.

45. Stand up and run to the window. Then sit down again. If your teacher asks why you did that, say you thought you saw the Bat Signal.  

all wrights go to ways to annoy (found in the links)